Quieting the Inner Critic

Learn how to soften your inner dialogue and speak to yourself with the kindness you deserve.

There’s a voice inside many of us, one that whispers, questions, criticizes, and sometimes shouts.

• “You’re not good enough.”
• “Why can’t you get it right?”

That’s the inner critic. And while it often sounds like your own thoughts, it rarely reflects your truth.

For many women healing from childhood trauma, this voice wasn’t born from who you are, it was shaped by past experiences. The good news? You’re not stuck with it. There’s a gentler voice within you, waiting to be heard.

What Is the Inner Critic?

The inner critic is that internal dialogue that judges, questions, or belittles you. It’s often formed in childhood as a response to pain, rejection, criticism, or unmet emotional needs.

Maybe you heard messages that love had to be earned, or that your feelings didn’t matter. Over time, those external voices become internalized, and suddenly, they sound like your own.

But you were never meant to live with a voice that keeps you small.

How the Inner Critic Holds You Back

This voice can show up in subtle or loud ways:

• “You should be doing more.”
• “Don’t speak up, you’ll look foolish.”
• “You always mess things up.”

It leads to second-guessing, self-sabotage, and deep shame. Worst of all? It often feels normal because it’s familiar.

But familiar doesn’t mean truthful.

You Can Create a New Inner Voice

Healing begins when you meet yourself with compassion instead of criticism. Here’s how:

1: Notice Without Judgment

          Rather than pushing the critic away, gently acknowledge it.

                    “That’s the inner critic. I hear it, but I don’t have to believe it.”

2: Name It

          Give your critic a name: “The Comparer,” “The Perfectionist,” etc. This creates emotional distance.

3: Ask: Whose Voice Is This?

          Was it a parent? A teacher? Society? Recognizing the origin helps you reclaim your power.

4: Respond with Compassion

          Instead of harshness, try kindness.

                    “I’m safe now.”

                    “It’s okay to learn and grow.”

                    “I’m doing the best I can.”

Creating Your Inner Ally

With practice, you can nurture a new inner voice. A voice that uplifts, soothes, and supports you. This voice might sound like:

• “I don’t have to be perfect to be worthy.”
• “I deserve to take up space.”
• “My healing matters.”

Try These Empowering Practices:

• Write a daily affirmation you believe, even a little
• Journal what your most compassionate self would say
• Speak kindly to yourself in the mirror each morning
• Create a playlist or mantra that grounds you

You Deserve to Be on Your Own Side

Your inner critic may have once served a purpose, but it doesn’t have to define you anymore.

You’re allowed to rewrite the story.
You’re allowed to treat yourself with care.
And you’re allowed to grow in peace, not fear.