How to Find Solutions

With words we can find solutions. 

Though words do not always lead to solutions, they give us a much better chance than when we make assumptions about what others are saying or doing, or when we expect others to read our minds. 

I know I have this issue, and I think many of us do, where we believe we’re being clearer than we actually are. It’s clear in my mind, so why isn’t it clear in yours? 

What we don’t always realize is that the missing pieces in our communication often get filled in by the other person’s experiences, assumptions, or past stories. To truly get our points across, we need to communicate in a way that ensures we’re being understood and that we’re also making the effort to understand where the other person is coming from. 

Another common cause of miscommunication is when we unknowingly put people on the defensive. When this happens, it’s harder for them to hear our point of view. That’s why one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves in moments of tension is: What is my part in this? 

Maybe we don’t realize we came across as snippy.
Maybe we don’t recognize that our tone or choice of words was triggering for them.
Maybe our own biases are showing up without our awareness. 

As soon as you sense a disconnect in a conversation, I recommend asking the other person what they think it is that you're saying. Ask with genuine curiosity, not accusation. 

Open communication and honest dialogue go a long way in finding real solutions.

When we listen, acknowledge, clarify, and take time to understand the back story (why someone sees things the way they do), we can work together more effectively. When we stay open and take responsibility for our part, we give every conversation a better chance of moving forward.