You Are Worthy
Aug 02, 2019
Wouldn't it be great our loved ones just knew what we needed? Unfortunately, it doesn't always work out that way. If we aren't communicating our expectations and needs, we will be living in the gap of our needs not being met, which could build resentment, anger, insecurity, or hurt feelings.
For example:
A couple has been together for many years and they share the household responsibilities. Dinner needs to be cooked, dishes need to be cleaned, and the trash needs to be taken out. But what if one partner had a really tough day? What if they are just exhausted or burnt out and need a break from their chores? Without communicating these feelings, that person may avoid doing their share leaving the other with resentment. Or conversely, they may do their chores and feel resentment because the other person didn't notice they were exhausted.
Another example is when one assumes the other person knows they are loved. Maybe the words of love and appreciation aren't spoken enough. This could cause a disconnect and feelings of insecurity. Over time, these feelings build and could do irreparable harm to the relationship.
Solution:
I can say it's simple of enough to ask for what you need, but this is a life skill that needs to be learned.
The first step of overcoming any potential insecurity we may feel about communicating our needs is knowing we are WORTHY of having our needs met. If we know our loved ones are worthy of getting their needs met, why don't we have the same standard about ourselves? Just like we would want our loved ones to ask us for what they need, they also need us to tell them our needs, feelings, and boundaries.
Asking for what we need doesn't come easy to everyone. However, once we can reframe our perspective, it's a lot easier to ask for what we need.
The second step is to practice, practice, practice. It takes practice to form new habits. This will teach us understanding and provide us with more insight on healthy communication. As you get better at this, you will feel more connected to your loved ones, feel more valued and appreciated, and your overall happiness will increase.
The third step for our parents and caregivers out there: Model this new life skill for our kiddos. This makes it possible for them to know the value of their voice and self-worth. It is a life skill that will help them make better decisions, choose better partners, and get their needs met.
